Woman smiling

Do you ever wish you could wave a magic wand to transform your current experience from one of angst, disconnection or dissatisfaction to one of expansion, ease, and possibility?

The truth is that you can and you do have this magic wand right at your fingertips.

And, the first step to activating and leveraging this superpower is to notice for yourself how often
you tend to focus on and allow so much of your attention, your life life force, your energy and awareness to be consumed by the problems and by trying to fix things that are not going well in your life?

I definitely see this often in myself and in the women i work with. I believe there are multiple factors underneath this pattern, but one of the most mainstream is what Neuropsychology refers to as the Negativity Bias. This is actually a survival mechanism that has our brain and neural circuitry wired to collect evidence AND to look for bad news and the negative experiences in our lives.

After all, historically speaking, it was much safer to be on the lookout for what’s wrong or what could be dangerous and life threatening than it was to languish and indulge in how miraculous and beautiful your life is. God forbid, while you’re doing that, something could jump out of the bushes and attack you for its lunch.

Researchers have also found that animals, including humans, generally learn faster from pain than from pleasure and that negative stimuli produce more neural activity than do equally intense positive ones. So this pattern of thinking – this tendency towards the negative and towards the problem that needs to be fixed – is quite entrenched.

I recently hear about a study that was done in which they tracked various control groups that were asked:

How much stress did you have last year?

Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?

What they discovered was that those who experienced lots of stress AND who believed it was bad for their health, had 43% more chance of dying

The lowest risk of anyone in the study were ones who still experienced a high level of stress BUT who didn’t believe it was bad for them.

Here is clear evidence of how much energy and how much power our thoughts, our perception and our attitude can have on our experience and our quality of life moment to moment.

So how do we break this pattern of thinking and get out of this trap?

Step 1: Identify in your life what feels like the biggest problem.

What are you perceiving as problem that needs to be fixed, changed, gotten rid of, and corrected?

Instead of seeing it as a problem and loading all this judgment onto what is simply a neutral circumstance – which only feeds it more power and energy – start to make the separation between what is happening or not happening AND your view or attitude about it.

Step 2: Challenge whatever that attitude may be and flip it on its head by doing a 180* and ask yourself,

“What’s perfect about this? What is the opportunity to learn, to grow, to evolve that is actually available to me here that I may not have recognized yet?”

Within every moment lies the potential for our suffering or our empowerment. In every moment, we have the freedom to choose between our enslavement or our liberation, between possibility and expansion.

Consider the concept of “blooming where you’re planted”. Rather than giving more power to the circumstance by believing that you’re a victim to it and that it needs to change in order for you to feel differently or feel better, how can you actually use the circumstance to empower yourself?

How can you use whatever challenge you may be experiencing as a portal into greater freedom?

Rather than being victimized by whatever you’re believing is a problem, consider the Zen Buddhist saying “No mud. No lotus”. How can you choose to bloom instead….to become that lotus that blooms out of the mud?

What if you just decided that it is not a problem?

Remember that your way of relating to whatever you’re experiencing in your life determines your suffering and imprisonment OR your freedom, your peace, joy, and empowerment.

So, today, start to look for the perfection in whatever you may be perceiving as problem.

Use that mud as your opportunity to become that lotus and bloom despite any circumstance or situation you may be facing.

This blog post was contributed by my friend Salona Carlisle.

Salona’s Bio:
As a transformational guide and energy coach, Salona guides women on the journey back to their essential wholeness and into their soul’s most magnificent unfurling, so they can experience the fulfillment and freedom of embodying their highest expression, while being fully expressed in a life they love.

Through her body-centered approach, Salona empowers her clients to experience the meaning and purpose they crave by intentionally creating an authentic, inspired life of their choosing.
She teaches a profound set of processes to support her clients to move through fear and into
their most courageous selves, so they can liberate their fullest potential and experience the freedom of becoming all of women they aspire to be, while doing their soul’s unique work in the world.

You can get more information on Salona by visiting her website.

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